All Alone... All Along... All Alone...

All alone in my life i stand
All alone in my life i walk
All alone,deserted i live.
The love i have from all,
Another mask put on

All alone i stand and bear
All alone i live my life.
Your love a hope for me,
But proving to a mirage now.
All alone, all along, all alone..

Long for the love and
everyone seems busy.
Long for care and
masks put on.
all alone, all along, all alone
I live my life, unlamented.

Failed I, to know the fact,
that life is just like this
Forget I, the fact,
all alone i have to walk
all alone i have to bear
all alone i am to face
the world and the world.

All love a proven mirage,
Just a play of words and emotions
All alone i be in the live
i am to live unlamented.

The Companion

Sitting in the visitor’s room is him
The companion of darkness,
Who I often feared but not now.
He has come to take me along,
To guide and walk with me along,
Through the unknown paths of live.

He has come to walk with me,
Not through the live that I live now,
But through the isolated path of life
That is to come after my death.

His face unseen and voice unheard
Yet so powerful to make me walk
All along, all alone, all along.
As I was along, I would imagine
How his appearance would be
And then visualize it.

His eyes so dark yet a smile on his lips
And I wish if I could smile like him now
For, it’s the last chance for me to smile.
He has come to take me along
To guide and walk with me
To the next life I am to live.

I see my life waving her hands at me
I see her bidding farewell to me
The life I had lived till now,
The life that I dreamed, hoped
Wanted and had isn’t mine now.
It has bid farewell to me.

The live I lived had given her place
For the new companion to own.
His waiting finally comes to an end
He is in the room now, with me.
Helping me pack the memories,
to carry along as he holds my hand.

He has come to take me along and
He is called by the name Death.

Ripped Soul

I wish if i could split myself,my body,

my heart and my soul into two,

just like the reflections of me.

one for the one i love and

one for her who loves me.

i wish if this could come true

if i could exist in two yet unique

if i could be one and the same

in the ripped souls of my own.

it feels like nothing but hell to know

her love for me and to neglect.

it not just hurts but bleeds

it just hurts and bleeds to know

that some loves me,though known

that i am committed and not alone.

it hurts, bleeds, pains and finally kills
but i fear of standing this morbid state
i do not want to be killed by this pain
for my life is not yet fully lived...

I wish if i could split myself,my body,
my heart and my soul into two,
if i could exist in two yet unique
in the ripped souls of my own.

The Girl In The Bus

English exam was too boring for me. Did finish writing then in one and a half hour and then the teacher announced that i will be let out of the class by 12:30 only.and yeah, about the exam, did the drama part to the best of my ability and poetry part was worst.Nor did i know about the poems' contents, nor did i read the notes.thanks to my junior for giving me her notes to read.With out your book, poetry would have been even more tough for me. so as said, i had 1 hour spare time in the exam hall, i had my pencil and the question paper was printed at one side only. the vision of the girl in the bus came to my mind, and i noted down that visuals in the question paper. here it goes :

The Girl In The Bus

Dressed in red and white she entered
the bus, with a serene smile.
talking to her mate and then laughing'
i who watched went motionless,
In her looks i fell unconcious
the eyes crossed just for once
and the contact made
a glare of her eyes and mine..
a world of stories to tell in hers
but i could not read any
as i only saw sadness filled
in them, and not even tears.
but then heard the bell ringing
i got out and watched the bus
gliding away, with her.
that was only a mintues' admiration
of the angelic beauty she had.

it was 12:30 then, and i got out of the class room as well.aah well that was a day...

Contaminated Life

Special thanks to a friend for the line she added. with out your help, this poem wouldnt have been completed.

In her attire tore,
lay she on the floor.
Weeping and crying "mother".
Her face covered in her hands,
shoulders down and eyes wet,
tears rolling down her cheeks,
covered in blood and sweat.
Her lips red, not of lipstick
but of bleeding blood..
A daughter she was

A sister she was and
a hope she was.
A virgin she was but not now.

Nothing left in her,but the life,
a contaminated life of her.
Yet she lived on earth,
suffering and bearing the pain.
White in the dawn and dark in the night,
smile in the morning and grin in the dusk,
the cohesion prostituted her.

Days went past,months went past...
And again a cry was heard "mother"
this time not from her,
but from the kid in her hand.

Violin Strings

Another beginning.. it was about to begin...another argument with my dearest girl...but this time, i didn't want that to happen..kept my mouth shut and words unsaid.. dear girl, just know this, your happiness mean this world to me, infact a lot more than that to me...what ever happens, believe me, we are not going to be parted.

Better not play the violin
If the strings are going to break
But I will play the violin on
I care not for the strings broken.

Let my violin strings break
Let the concord break and
Let the discord play
Let the notes be “not”s
And let the violin play.
Let the violin strings break

And then I have my veins to change.
Let the violin play on my veins
Let the music flow and play
Let the music go on and on
Till there is blood in my veins,
Till there is life in me.

Let the concord never be broken
Till my soul rests in me
Let the heavenly music go and on
Till the break of vein and heart.

Let the violin play
Let the music go
Let my love for you to live
Let my love for you to live

Let the past bother me not
Let the present bother me not
Let the future bother me not
Let my love for you to live
For the fact that I know you well
And that you know me well…

Let the violin play
Let the music go
Let my love for you to live
Let my love for you to live

And I know that it will live
My love for you will live
And we will live for love
Sharing all our love and care
Then our violins will play
Not along but in choros.

The love we share is true
Our love will live for long
The violin will play the music
The music with no broken notes
The music with a concord,
The concord of our hearts.

My Destiny

Thanks to my friend Vishnu K M for the title.Thanks to Rugma for pointing out the spelling mistakes.Thanks for the comment Rugma.. I corrected the mistake you pointed out now.

I wish, In this dazzling rain
my tears could evaporate..
If you could never see
The tears in my eyes
If you could never make out
The sadness that fills my heart
If you could just think and leave
That I didn’t love u with my soul…
If all my love for you could
Evaporate in this thundering rain
But everything just a dream
A prolonged day dream
My tears didn’t dry up
For the love I had for you was divine
And you never understood
Left alone in the rain,
I watched you moving away..
Happily and hastily
To reach the open hands
Of your new found lover
Tears rolled out of my eyes
Not for losing you, but since
You found a better lover,
A better companion than I ever was.
You turned back at once, saw my tears.
But you didn’t know the reason of my tears
For I was happy that you got a lover now
And for me, I got my destiny awaiting.

My First Poem

used to write from my childhood itself.. but never had a copy of my writeups with me.. always used to scribble some four lines in the last page of the note book and finally forget that.. never took writing seriously.. but it was deepa teacher who made me write a poem in a serious manner.. still remember the topic she gave me to write, rain drops, and i was supposed to write that in malayalam.. managed to write one, but wasnt good... still remember some lines of that so called poem as,

നിറഞ്ഞു പെയ്യുന്ന മഴയില്‍, ഈ നിറമഴയില്
‍എന്‍ കണ്ണുനീര്‍ തുള്ളികള്‍ അലിംജെനംഗില്
എന്‍ കണ്ണുനീര്‍ നീ കാണാതിരുന്നെങ്കില്
‍പ്രിയ സഖി, എന്‍ ദുഖം നീ അറിയാതിരുന്നെങ്കില്‍...
ഈ മഴയില്‍ എന്‍ ദുഖവും നിന്നോടുള്ള സ്നേഹവും
അലിംജെനംഗില്... മാഞ്ഞു പോയെങ്കില്‍....
ധന്യമായെനെ എന്‍ ജന്മം..
എങ്കിലും എല്ലാം വെറും പ്രതീക്ഷകള്‍ മാത്രം
എന്‍ കണ്ണുനീര്‍ തോര്‍ന്നില്ല, മഴയും നിന്നില്ല...
എന്‍ പ്രിയ തോഴിയാം നീയും നിന്നില്ല..
എകനായി നിന്നു ഞാന്‍ മാത്രം ആ മഴയില്‍
എന്‍ ദുഖം പെയ്തു തീരുന്നപോല്‍...

then after that the poem i wrote with my ful heart in it was my first english poem, titled dreaming death, which is the first post of this very blog... dreaming death was infact my mental state during that period of life, when everything seemed to be lost... but still i lived.. and will life till my life takes me... and after dreaming death, wrote soo many things, scribbles many lines in the last page of books.. but couldnt complete anything well..

ahh well.. lost the mood to write.. a phone call.. damn.. whose that now?? will continue later...

The End is Indiscriminated

This one, may not be called as a poem though i tried to write one.. some 2-3 days back my friend rang me up and said she wanted my help and told me that i have to write a poem for her on the theme racial discrimination.. ahh... well... what a bloody topic i thought.. but still i should help that friend as i owe her a hell lot... and well i did take the trouble of quilling some lines.. well.. here i post it.. but me warned that it is not of the quality that a poem should minimally possess.. sorry friend.. couldn't do better than this :

The End is Indiscriminated

He is called as son or kid and
I am called as a boy
yet the blood in our vein is red.
We both, delivered after months of pain
And was alike till our births
Why after the birth this segregation
He as white and I as black...
Is that color that separates human hood?
He is superior and I am not
I am untouchable but
He reaps and feeds on what I sow.
He and I breathe the same air
Still I am black and he is white...

I a human and he a human
And still discriminated racially
Who did create the races?
What it I or was it he?
Yet before we open our eyes
To see this awesome world
We are ranked as boy and kid
I live the life of a slave
But he born with me,
With the same natural privilege,
Live the life of my master...

Who will put an end to this?
Will it be I or will it be he?
No... never... it wont be us
It will never be anybody
For all are afraid to break the rules
The rules of the uncultured past...
And if someone breaks the rules
The discrimination will reappear
In some way or the other way...
Yes this world will never change
For we can’t never accept the truth
That all are equal before the god...
Still we fight and kill...
Still we stay untouched and unheard
As if we rule the world...

But be warned of the mighty fact
All are equal before the Mighty God
We are born as humans with flush and bones
And we stay segregated and separated
But still be warned of the natural truth
Everything ends up as ashes and bones...
Though we live as boy and kid
As slave and master
The end is in discriminated
Yes indeed it is indiscriminated!!!