Memories

Balconies that have metal grills - I don't how why these structures often remind me of you. The reflections aren't even pleasant. It casts a shade of blue and melancholy over my mind. My thoughts start to wander about you, about us. Is it representative of my own grief about missing you or is it my imagination of the struggles that you have been through. I think of you every time I see these structures, build on cinder blocks and metal and it has me in splits. Were you supposed to be a painful regret or a beautiful memory? What if everything we built together was built on lies? What if the foundation of our dreams were mere lies that you made up? But then I ask myself, could tears be bogus and laughter, could the eyes sparkle in deceit.

Let's Talk

Let's talk. Over the years, if i have realised one thing about people, it is that they are not looking for a solution when they speak to you about their troubles. They only need someone to listen to their pain. Most people when they open up, are expecting you to be a good listener. They don't need your sympathy.
Empathise if you must. Be there for one another. Depression has taken more lives than necessary already. Be there for someone who needs a listener. Be patient and Kind. Empathise.
Trust me. It doesn't feel alright a bit. You start to question your own existence when you are fighting depression. Talk. Find Time. Open up. Give an ear to your friends, family, that random stranger even. Be kind. We all have that one extra minute of time in our lives yo save someone. To brighten someone's life.

Let's talk.
You will wonder,
About what.
How about nothingness,
Void, desolation and fear.

Dreams, poetry and books.
The drunken nights.
Awkward conversations
The tiring hangover
Our adulation with drugs.

About the scary nights
That you covered your face
Under your pillow, crying
Pondering the why's and what's of life.
The loneliness that you felt.

About how you felt,
Uncertain, chaotic and suicidal
Let's talk about the fears.
The thoughts that shatter your nights
The screams that echo in your dreams.

Let's talk.
About those elderly hands
Wandering down your baby thighs
The uneasiness, the sugar coated warning.
Nobody else should know.

The realization of what that meant,
Years later, after you grew up.
The lump in your throat,
The unshed tear in your eyes
The anger that you hide.

How about those days that
You lived within the confines
Of your own closet.
Eluding social contact,
Never seeing the light.

Let's talk.
About that went in your mind.
Society, isolation and stigma.
Words that never came out,
Tears that rolled down.

Let's talk.
About that one horrific train ride
To home.
Where everything would be fine,
Yet seems unfamiliar to you now.


Let's talk.
No. Not immediately.
Take your time.
All of it.
I have abundance of time.

How about we take a long walk,
Or may be go to the corner tea shop
And unshackle our minds,
Thoughts pouring out.
I promise to listen.

Trust me I know how it feels.
Its been my struggle too.
Remember what I promised.
No matter what time of the day,
I'll listen with all my heart.

I have time.
Abundance of it.
For someone else too had time
When I sought them out.
When I cried myself out.

Him and Her

I don't remember the last time
I looked at the sky in such awe.
A starry night, did a comet flyby?
I did wish upon it as it was 11:11.

I hadn't met you since long.
And here I am today.
At your doorstep.
Taking you out for the dinner.

The way your laughter sounds
When I confess the truth
That I've been awestruck
By your eyes, since years.

The walk across the empty beach
Lonely, yet in the company of eachother.
We do not talk, neither hold hands.
You watch the waves kiss the sand.

I look at you, your childlike enthusiasm
The way your runaway from the waves
After writing our names in the sand.
That night was indeed long.

I have been asked many times
What is it that I feel for you.
I have no answer to say,
But I know that we are not meant to be.

Home

I would never be able to speak in words, or write it down; the loneliness, the emptiness your absence left behind in my world. those moments spent in the warmth of your cuddle, endless conversations, the awkward silence and the heartfelt laughs. . Those still linger in my heart..

No words could ever describe the 2 A.M void your absence creates. The desire to strike a conversation and not having you around. I did not realize until you went away, home could mean two open hands welcoming me. That soothes me of my heart's ache.

Memories

Sloshed. The smell of cheap rag and cigarettes lingered in his room. He remembers the older days where happiness prevailed; Where she'd let him run his hands through her hair and laugh at the tickle. The twinkle in her eyes. Oh and her, she calls him a hopeless Dreamer.

Memories

Walking down the street,
As the crossroad approaches,
We try to un-recognize
Each others' familiar faces.
That used to be where
We exchanged smiles.


An ocean of memories,
Erupts within us
As we walk past each other.
Sound silence echos in between.
That used to be where
We exchanged words.

The unbecoming of us,
As we dissolve into you and I
The world that we build on dreams.
Tumbles, fails and fades away.
And finally I realize that
We are now what 'we used to be' .

An Ode to Us

You and I.
An incomplete poem,
An unsung melody.

We had apparently no ending,
none said the parting goodbyes;
We evaporated into thin air.


For all my life,
I'll wonder why
I had to let you go.

Q & A's

I hear that question
Even without you asking.
What bothers me.

I wonder.
Have you ever looked into my eyes
And read through them.

Not now.
When we were together.
Before our love vaporized.

You told me.
That I have eyes so dark,
It's impossible to penetrate.

I don't have an answer.
But I do think every night
Was I not enough for you.

I have to ask now.
Is that why,
You looked elsewhere.

Conundrum

Sometimes I wonder.
Why do I write.
What is it that I try
To portray.
Is it you, or is it
What I expect you to be.

The conundrum.
To dump the past or
To embrace the future.
You of the past or
You that I do not know yet.
Life indeed is chaotic.