The Things I Lost With You

Words I utter have lost their meaning

I fail to put my heart out and write

Cries I scream have gone unheard

I have lost the voice to reach you

You have turned insensitive

You have become someone who I never knew

The things I lost with you, that day

Peace, happiness and my life.

A stranger so familiar you have become

Crossing my mind every moment I breathe

I have turned psychic in your absence

Every night becomes of torture

To put me into rest, I struggle

Weed, drug and what not have I tried

Your thoughts come back rushing

Every time I try to forget

Now if I tell you what you mean to me

You’d mockingly laugh and walk away

You’d ask, why are you bothered?

Am I not your past? And smile again

The things I lost with you, that day

I have lost count of them

I try to forget those things, in vain

Memories are a curse, sometimes in life

I have known someone so tender

In my past, and i am still there

Stuck, wondering, where to run

I have lost my face, and my faith

I have lost my way too.

The things I tell you from my heart

Laughed off by you, and the indifference

You bring to my life these days

I would want to hate you and

I would want to stop caring for you

Walk away from your thoughts

And I search for hatred in me

Only to find all my emotions gone

The things I lost with you, that day

My senses, emotions and ability to feel

I have become so numb, so lost.

The things I lost with you, that day

Far too many to recollect and remember

I know this, I have lost myself totally

In that glow and depth of your eyes

I can only look into myself and realize

I have lost myself into your thoughts

Of all the things I lost with you, that day

I wish if my soul comes back to me, from you.

Wishes that i wish, come true.

I thought I was joking the first time I said
That your eyes tell me a story, or hide one
There was a glow that pulled me closer
Every time I looked into, like magnet
How I wish, I could spend my time
Every moment of it, looking
Into your eyes, reading the stories
You’d not even know existed
Telling you the stories that your eyes confined
And seeing them glow even better
Spreading joy, all around
How I wish to look deep into your eyes
And then close my eyes looking into yours
Forever, and forever.

Finding Solace

I sat and drank. I drank till I passed out, to forget all those good days, and then, memories are such a pain, that they come back hurting even more when you want to forget them. I had found my solace in the darkness that encircled me. The loneliness your absence created in my world

Wait

She said she would be back soon. He waited. Seconds became minutes, minutes to hours and to days and years. He waited and waited for long, long enough that years passed away and she became a memory, no longer alive. He would have waited for more, but little did he have time. end had come.

When It's Time To Die

an attempt to translate Rafeeque Ahamed's "Maranamethunna Nerathu"

I wish if you could sit by my side
When it’s time for me to die
For my worn hands could finally
Rest caressing you for once
For my last breath could contain
The aroma of you lingering in it
For my eyes that would never again
Be open, to capture your face
For your voice to be the last melody
To fall into my ears when I rest
For my memories to stay alight in you
Even when I get vanished of the earth
For all your pain be healed soon
By the prayer words you utter
For my feet to feel cold, in memory
Of the ways I walked into you
That would be the only necessity
For me, to reincarnate into life.

(PS: very first attempt on translating something from malayalam to english.)

Apologies

How do i put into words
The weight my heart bears
How do i ever be content
Of apologizing enough, wordless.
Only if the silence between us
Echoed of my pain to your ears
Of the things i couldn't change
and of words i failed to express!

Death Wish

meek, mild and tender your eyes
rolling down through your cheeks
words that once failed to gain voice
drained of emotions i stood watching
contemplating if to gift you false hopes
of a life, togetherness and a better tomorrow
not knowing if to wipe away your tears or
to walk away from you, forever
knowning that i wouldnt last for long
moments when i wish to be blessed
if i could stay a little longer
only if time is a luxury i could afford

Absence

That night when you left me

It rained, thunders and lightning

Now when I think, the sky too wept

I only wonder if in pain or in joy

The pain that I bore when you departed

Breaking my heart in to a million pieces

Or the joy of taking back the star

That once fell down from tis abode, the sky.

You were there, in my life, when it was dark

And your smiles brightened up my world

And now when I am in light and merry

All I feel is a void that your absence creates

A void so loud that the silence

Echoes down and reverberates forever.

Vengeance

words uttered in anger
unknown of the pain created
breaking apart the bonds
leading to a state of chaos


ripples on the surface
whrilwinds deep down
vengeance, melting down the heart
pay back is sweet, when its old.