around thy waist my hands wound,
walk us down the sands, together.
hands crossed,shoulders clubbed,
in the waves we stand, together.
thoughts shared, waves counted,
the castle of dreams built, together.
played in the sand like kids and
marks made in the shore,together.
the sunset seen, the warmth felt,
smiled and winked at it, together.
with the darkness encircling,
the world drew closer and closer
the sea, the shore and then
within us the world confined.
in my hands you stood dreaming,
and i whispered in your ears...
with a heavy and aching heart
sweet heart, we are to part now.
-the credit of the caption goes to two people, to Sharika, my junior at school, for igniting my mind to find out a caption, and to Ambili, for modifying that caption to the present one. and finally i have broken the jinx, and finally i did write something that made me feel good. hope it does the same with you, your comments on this would really really be appreciated.
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Experiments with Words
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All rights reserved Monochrome by Shravan
10 Shared Thoughts:
your days with your love will begin soon shravan... God is with you...
Well written poem...and good work by your sis and friend on the poem...
Between, you have a beautifull truth in the poem,"the wish of every love to be together forever and for every second..."
Have a good time...
@ Rugma
glad that you liked it.
a quick note : this has got nothing to do with a break-up or so. i still have my girl with me :) better than ever.
Nicely crafted poem bringing before our eyes the entwined lovers on the beach wanting to linger for longer time.
Shravan, a good job
the impression that I gathered from the first few lines of the poetry forced me to deviater from the track at the end when I went through the last lines....make it special by putting it may be in an optimistic way....but being a pessimistic is also fine (though u r not so)....
anyways....good one..thats all I wanted to say!!!
hi zenana, nice name there, and thanks for dropping in, hope to see you here again,
and here u go, the optimistic way
around thy waist my hands wound,
walk us down the sands, together.
hands crossed,shoulders clubbed,
in the waves we stand, together.
thoughts shared, waves counted,
the castle of dreams built, together.
played in the sand like kids and
marks made in the shore,together.
the sunset seen, the warmth felt,
smiled and winked at it, together.
with the darkness encircling,
the world drew closer and closer
the sea, the shore and then
within us the world confined.
in my hands you stood dreaming,
and i whispered in your ears...
with a content and beaming heart,
sweet heart, i love you....
very beautifully written Shravan........
well written..i sense a kind of longing in your writing...! don worry you will soon get the exact love in your life if you havent yet..keep blogging...
I love this poem, dude, u write really good. =] the break-up part is saddening... =[
@ lakshmi
i knew you would say this.
@ navami
there is no longing.. happy with my girl i am :) glad that u appreciated the word, hope to see you here again
@ max
am content to see your comment here, and well, i hope that u saw the other version of the song in the comments(reply for zenana).and thank you for the appreciation
in the end, my day is made !!
Vivid, warm and moving...good work shravan!
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